There's Someone For Everyone
by DeepSixing
Summary: Harley Quinn is a sociopath. But why did the Joker leave her at an insane asylum? Why did he break her out again? And what chaos will the Joker put on her when he tells her to go kill Batman? Does he even want her to succeed, or just want to control her?
1. Lacey, go to bed

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Joker or anything relating to Batman, unfortunately. I only own the plot, and my interpretation of Harley Quinn. And any OCs that may come along.**

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"Harley, come now. It's time for your medicine."

But Harley wasn't listening. Her face was inches from the TV set. She stared with lustful eyes as she raised her hand up and slid her fingers over the glass. Over the face of the Joker cackling back at her.

"_Harley,_" the nurse said more forcefully.

Harley jerked, pulled out of her fantasy. She twisted her head to the nurse. The nurse pointed to a little paper cup in her hand and mouthed "Meds. Now." Harley pushed herself up from the floor, and dragged her feet over to the woman. She snatched the cup from her hands and downed all six pills at once. She swallowed, hard, and then opened her mouth and wiggled her tongue as proof that she'd actually taken them.

"Thank you Harley. Good night."

Harley looked the nurse up and down once, without a word, and then hurried away to her room where she spit out all six pills. She stashed the unswallowed pills in a little jewelry box under her nightstand, and then changed her clothes and slid into bed. The second the light was out, there was a knock on the door. Harley didn't even roll over.

"What?"

The door opened and a girl entered. Harley turned her head. The girl looked like she was in her mid-twenties, but she wore a Barbie nightgown and was hugging a purple CareBear to her chest.

"I can't sleep," she whimpered.

Harley put her head back down. "Lacey, go to bed."

"I can't sleep!" she cried.

Harley flung herself around, sitting up and staring at Lacey. "So get a fucking nurse! Or go bug Kate. Don't you usually go bug Kate when you can't sleep?"

Lacey was silent. She had tears running down her face. "Kate…she…" Lacey choked up. "She's...I..."

Harley laid back down, roughly pulling the covers up over her shoulders. "Well, that's just great." _One less excuse to get you out of my room. Fan-fucking-tastic_

More silence. Harley could feel Lacey staring at her back. Did she realize she didn't give a shit?

"Harley…"

"_GO TO BED!"_ Harley threw her blanket tight over her head and waited until she heard the door click shut before emerging.

The next morning, Harley, along with most of the other patients, watched as three nurses wheeled Kate's dead body out of her room. Harley pushed her way through the crowd and found Lacey staring dumbly at the scene.

"You know," Harley said into Lacey's ear, "Last night I figured you meant to say that Kate was _dead_. Not that she had _just died_."

Lacey continued staring forward, her purple CareBear held limply at her side by one arm. "I didn't mean either." Then she smiled slightly, still watching the gurney roll away. "I meant to say I killed her."

"You," Harley said, staring at her, "Are a fucking idiot." Harley turned and looked through the mob of people until she found one of the nurses. "Ida!" The nurse looked up and spotted Harley in the crowd. With a big smile, Harley stood on tiptoes and pointed down at Lacey. "She did it! She killed Kate!"

Laughing, Harley ran away to her room, rolling on her bed in hysterics. She just loved being the rat.

Later that day, another girl came barging into her room. Caroline. "That was a _dick_ thing you did to Lacey."

Harley's smile was still playing on her face from laughing so hard. "Yeah."

"You're a bitch."

Harley giggled. "Yeah."

Caroline rolled her eyes and turned to leave, but stopped when she noticed something down the hall. "_Oh._ Your boyfriend's on TV again."

Harley's eyes bugged out and she burst out of the room, shoving Caroline aside. She sprinted all the way to the commons and sat directly in front of the TV, kneeling and fawning, stroking his face and cooing very softly. She ignored the moans of the other girls.

"Hey, come on!"

"Not again."

"I was watching that!"

Someone must have complained to a nurse because after only a minute of watching her love torturing another Batman impersonator, two nurses came and grabbed Harley by the forearms and dragged her away.

**A/N: I know this chapter is short, the first one always is. I'm not entirely sure where this is going, hahahah. I'm just writing and letting it take me wherever. Please please _please_ review and tell me what you think! **


	2. Harrrrleeeeey

**Disclaimer: Don't own Batman/Joker/Harley Quinn/etc. I own the characterization and plotline. Yay.**

"Why are you so in love with the Joker, anyway?" Gina sat on Harley's bed and picked at her cuticles. It was technically lights-out, but no one really listened to those stupid rules.

Harley climbed up and sat next to her, hugging her pillow. "If you have to ask, you'll never know."

Gina rolled her eyes. "Come on."

Harley shook her head.

They were quiet a minute, and the only noise between them was the quiet popping of Gina's cuticles.

"Would you _stop that?_" Harley snapped.

Gina folded her hands in her lap. "Is it true that the Joker was the one who brought you here?"

"What's with all the fucking Joker questions? Besides, you _know_ I've never met the Joker. Yet." Harley added quickly. "I've already told you that a million times."

"You've been lying," Gina said. "I'm a compulsive liar, so I know when people are lying. It's a sixth sense."

Harley shrugged.

"Spill."

"No."

"_Spill._"

"_No, fuckfac—_"

"You guys, Lacey's escaped." Caroline had burst into the room and stood panting before them.

Harley and Gina stood up. "_What?_"

"Wasn't she in solitary confinement or something?" Gina asked, resuming picking her cuticles.

"The door was wide open. She either broke out, which I doubt, or someone let her out." Caroline said, turning and peering down the hall suspiciously.

"So…where is she now?" Harley asked.

But Gina was already staring out the window. "She's running away."

Sure enough, baby Lacey was skipping across the lawn, her pink Barbie dress fluttering, and her purple CareBear in tow. She was laughing and twirling, and no one seemed to be coming after her.

"Something's not right," Caroline said, shaking her head and staring around, paranoid.

"Really? What was your first clue?" Harley pushed Caroline aside again, and walked out into the corridor. As it turned out, she wasn't the first to come peering outside in confusion. She walked past rows of patients leaning outside their doors, some were crying, some were laughing. Harley made her way all the way down until she was in the commons. The room, like the hallway, was dark. The TV was on, flickering snowy static on a figure sitting on the couch.

"_Harrrrrrrleeeeeey_." The figure turned. "How are ya, sweetpea?"

Gina came running down the hallway, skidding to a stop behind Harley.

"See, I _told you_ you were lying!" _Bang!_ Gina fell to the floor and Harley watched the smile die off her face.

"Aw, come _on_! Don't kill my _friends_!" Harley exclaimed angrily, although she was unable to contain her smiles. _I knew he would come back for me. He couldn't resist._ She grinned.

The Joker got up from the couch and approached her slowly, his crooked red smile flickering dangerously in the light. "Harley, Harley, Harley." He grabbed her arm, gripping it tight and pulling her close. He put his lips to her ear, and in between giggles said, "You—oh, ha _hah_, oh Harley, _Harleeey_—you don't _have_ any _friends_."

And like that he whisked her away. Harley was soaring.

They returned to the Joker's primary hideout, a small cellar on the outskirts of Gotham. Harley knew the place well, and made herself right at home, fixing his unmade bed, dusting off the table, and pulling out two glasses for some gin.

The Joker watched her with a smirk, following her with his eyes and unmoving from his position. When she came over to hand him his drink, he just stared at it. He took a breath and crossed his arms, a smile still twitching by the corners of his mouth. "Wouldn't you like to ask me _whhhyyy_ I came to get you?"

Harley looked at him and then rolled her eyes. "You couldn't live without me. You love me. Just admit it."

The Joker exploded in laughter. He laughed so hard that no sound could come out and he could only gasp for breath. His face was so contorted that it actually looked like he was grinning from ear to ear. He rolled on the floor, clutching his stomach and kicking his legs. He howled. He shrieked. He cried.

Harley stared in confusion watching him tumble back and forth on the floor.

"Ohhh ha ha heeee aaaah aha, aha, aha…Harley." He suddenly stopped laughing and sat up, his feet sticking straight out on front of him. "Let's be realistic here, okay? Me?" He pointed to himself. "And…you?" He got up and was suddenly right in Harley's face. He pouted and stared into her eyes. "It's not you, sweetpea, it's me." Then he stared up, in thought. "Aw heck, it _is_ you. Eeeheheheee." He pushed her away and disappeared into the bathroom.

Harley stood in the middle of the room, holding two glasses of gin and furrowing her eyebrows. She slammed the glasses down on the table and stood in front of the bathroom door. "Then why the mother_fuck_ am I here?!"

"_Fine, Harleeeey._ Leave."

"What?"

The door flung open. The Joker's makeup was gone. His eyes were pale and bloodshot, and his scars were bright red and blotchy. He screamed at Harley, growling loud and forceful. "I said_ LEAVE_!" He grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and threw her up the cellar stairs.

Harley hit her head hard on the top concrete step. She looked back at the Joker. He was loading a gun and turning off the safety. He looked up at her and grinned.

"You can't be serious," Harley moaned.

"Hehehee oh…I'm never serious, _Har_ley." The Joker walked up to her and handed her the gun. "How's about we make a little dealll?"

Harley looked at the gun in her hands and then back up at the Joker.

"_You _can come back and live with _me_ when you_--mmmehehe__--kill_ the Batman. Mmmk?" The Joker was holding his lips tight, muffling his gleeful laughter. "Mmmk?"

Harley shook her head at him and sneered, "Mmmk." He always had to play games. She took the gun and left.

**A/N: Yay, I have a plotline! I promise it has more twists than it seems like. Sorry, the beginning was a little convoluted to get here, but hey, that's what I get for improvising. I now have a baby plot forming in my head, so the chapters should be more...progressive...now that I have a direction. As always, please, please, _please_, review! I really appreciate it. Like, a lot.**


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